no crying under the kotatsu
(subtitle: ennui and alimony)
i don’t necessarily miss my time in high school, but things did feel more hopeful then, for me.
or is it just that i was less jaded then? less beaten down?
do i miss my naivete?
i have this image of myself from back then, in some church gymnasium or another. i think it might’ve been at the one that my youth pastor’s wife’s identical twin ran. eventually my youth pastor would become disgraced for sticking it in his wife’s twin, and to this day i can’t decide if that’s a waste of an affair or the only sensible thing someone could do if presented with the opportunity. god i wish i was pretty enough for someone to want to have an affair with me.